On to journalistic sources of an entirely different variety...
Back in April 2003, a reporter named James Scott of The (Charleston, S.C.) Post and Courier was dispatched to Augusta, Ga. to cover the fracass that had broken out ahead of the Masters Tournament between Augusta National Chairman Hootie Johnson and Martha Burk, then-chair of the National Council of Women's Organizations.
For those who've forgotten the dust-up, Burk had spent months decrying the venerable golf club's men-only policy, and so, was met with throngs of both supporters and detractors when she arrived to launch her own protest during one of the PGA's most high-profile events. Recounting the scene in an article in the Sunday, April 13, 2003 edition of The P&C, Scott noted:
Throughout the morning, law enforcement officers stood on the perimeter of the five-acre field. At no point did the protest turn violent, though officers escorted Heywood Jablome away after he held up a sign directly in front of Burk that read "Make me dinner" before shouting "Oprah rules."
Within a week's time, Scott -- who was apparently unfamiliar with Mr. Jablome's prominent role in telephone pranks since time immemorial -- realized he'd been had, and wrote a column for the April 20 issue describing what it felt like to be made a national laughingstock and the butt of late-night jokes (for slipping up while doing a job that must have paid him, tops, $25,000 a year.)
I went to Augusta last week to cover protests at The Masters golf tournament and, along with several other reporters, fell for a media prankster's trick..I'm a legend -- and it only took two words to make me one...A man talked with about a dozen reporters and identified himself by a bogus name, a name that, while appearing innocuous enough on paper, refers to a sex act when sounded out. Unfortunately, I never actually heard the protestor's name pronounced, just caught him spelling it out for others and jotted it down in my notepad...I wrote the story for Sunday's paper, tucked the quote down near the bottom, filed it to my editors in Charleston and blithely went about my life, unaware that this one name was about to make my own name known around the country...While it's certainly funny -- believe me, my wife won't quit hassling me about it -- the episode has taught me a lesson: Trust no one. My confidence in people is now tarnished, and that may be the thing that bothers me the most. People complain that reporters are jaded. Well, now you know one reason why.
That sounds pretty awful. And if the immediate embarrassment weren't enough, the fact that the incident has earned a place in still-distributed e-mail chains (I was inspired to write after getting one just yesterday) and a permanent entry on the Urban Legends Reference Pages certainly couldn't have helped. And, hell, I'm obviously not above applying a little salt to the wound myself.
Of course, playing a little game I like to call "Fun With Lexis/Nexis," I don't actually see any evidence to back up Scott's claim that other reporters at Augusta were fooled by this charade. The only other piece that seems to mention the incident, appearing April 14 in Canada's National Post, made it sound like most got the joke:
In the middle of Burk's third or fourth turn at the microphone, a man stood in the middle of her small knot of supporters and raised a bright orange cardboard sign: "MAKE ME DINNER!" On the back, which he obligingly turned for Burk to see, it read: "IRON MY SHIRTS."
Burk stopped in mid-sentence and laughed: "All right, all right, I've seen it. You can take it down now."
Reporters immediately swarmed to the man, who gave his name, and spelled it out: "Haywood Jablome." A few seconds elapsed, and reporters began shaking their heads and scratching out the name.
But I do have good news for Mr. Scott. Dig a little further in the Nexis archive, and it turns out the ubiquitous Mr. Jablome is actually a widely quoted source, holding forth on all manner of issues.
In the Tuesday, May 1, 2001 edition of the New York Post, "Pulse" section reporter Neil Graves caught up with Mr. Jablome at the opening of the trendy E*Trade Center web cafe at Madison Ave. and 54th St.
With subdued lighting, plush lounges and a cafe for discriminating palates on the top floor, E*Trade yesterday had everything - except customers.
"I pop in there to check out my stocks, but I never see the place crowded," said David Sirk, 44, a waiter.
"If I didn't work a block away, I wouldn't go in. People who want to trade can do it from their laptop or hand-held device."
Heywood Jablome, 41, a Manhattan real estate agent, agreed.
"This is a nice-looking store, but I don't see people coming in here to trade," he said. "Not the aesuits' who work up here. No way!"
A few months later, Jablome spoke to reporter Sherri Williams in the July 21, 2001 edition of The (Jackson, Miss.) Clarion-Ledger about the forced resignation of University of Southern Mississippi President Horace Fleming Jr., mostly for his perceived failure to improve the school's athletics department.
Fleming said Thursday that board members and critics talked about his leadership style and approach.
Haywood Jablome, a senior computer science major from Florence, said Fleming's detractors who want more support for sports should be more concerned about the school's academic reputation and not its sports ranking.
"They are the ones putting a fast food title on a USM degree and I don't like it one bit," said Jablome, 27. "They seem to be geared toward keeping sports records because that attracts people. But the funding and the focus needs to be on education."
Of course, one might conclude the prevalence of 27-year-old seniors could be suggestive of even bigger problems but, hey...it's Mississippi.
And finally, showing Mr. Jablome also has an appreciation for the arts, in the June 2, 2000 edition of the Atlanta Journal and Constitution, AJC staffers caught up with him coming out of a screening of Mission Impossible 2, took his photo, and used his comments as part of a man-on-the-street movie review round-up.
His verdict?
"Excellent action and amazing plot twists. Tom Cruise looks better than ever. Thandie Newton is absolutely radiant." -- Haywood Jablome, Atlanta
Now that's testimony just screaming to be used in trailers!
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