Welcome to Lonoke, Ark. Population 4,300. It's the kind of down home, simple place us Yankees -- especially those of us in the goddam liberal media elite -- just don't understand. It's, ya know, a God-fearing kind of place, where slavery is still alive and well, and where the town fathers can do the whiskey tango foxtrot like nobody's business, y'all.
(Police Chief Jay) Campbell and his wife, Kelly Harrison Campbell, allegedly stole antique jewelry from a home and pawned it. The chief also is accused with the bail bondsmen of taking part in a conspiracy to make methamphetamine and use it to frame someone.
Kelly Campbell faces escape-related charges for allegedly taking two inmates out of the jail to have sex with her at ballparks, the chief's office and a hotel. She also is charged with residential burglary, theft and taking prohibited items into a jail.
(Mayor Thomas Privett) was charged with misdemeanor theft of services. A State Police affidavit says he used state prisoners to do work at his home, including fixing an air conditioner and hanging Christmas lights. Campbell also is alleged to have had prisoners work at his home.
A special tip o' the corn jug to the Inkstained Wretch.